It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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