Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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