I accidentally burped into my bong.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
