I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
