I just saw a hot homeless man
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
