i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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