I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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