every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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