Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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