covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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