I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
