oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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