If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
