so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
