If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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