Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
