You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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