I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
