you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
