Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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