is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
