I want to have your abortion
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
