Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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