I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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