But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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