My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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