Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We don't watch enough power rangers
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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