There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
