I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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