I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
