White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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