hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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