I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
