Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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