We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
