He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My pussy is not your playground.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
