Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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