Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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