Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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