I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
