tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
