That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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