Tell her she can't have a vagina
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
