and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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