I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you will always have a special place in my vag
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
