dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
