I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
