with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
