considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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