1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
