You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
