No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
