he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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